Put me in coach...

Dear Coach SoccerMom:

I was not lying when I told you my son was mature for a 3 (nearly 4) year old boy. I know it may not have looked that way during our first practice last night when he was standing in the middle of the circle instead of the outside, taking a "rest" with his head on his ball while you were doing drills, refusing to use any other ball than his own, joining another "pun" team that was practicing next to us, and trying to skip turns in line. I know he cried quite a bit after he and the biggest boy on the team (double big monkey's size) collided during the running race, but he did finish the race (with mommy in tow) even with the tears running down his cheeks.

I hope this does not jade your view on whether I can be an unbiased assistant coach, because I can. I know he is the smallest, slowest, and the child who chases butterflies free spirit of the group. There are a couple of amazing players on this team mostly made up of 5/6 year olds (whose parents must stand in the back yard pouring rain with an umbrella making their kids dribble the ball back and forth for hours). I will probably spend most of my time chasing my child and trying to convince him to participate correctly, but that is why you have me and you lucked out and have another assistant coach who takes the game too seriously is very enthusiastic about the game. Give me a couple of weeks to warm up to you (I am a shy one at first) and the idea of having several parents just stand around watching instead of joining in and I can make a great assistant coach/helper/3 year old chaser, promise.

Sincerely loving soccer,
Assistant Coach Shanna

Say a little prayer for me..

We are leaving in a couple of hours to visit my in laws. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I know this too will pass and make me stronger. I have to spend the night. They have no less than 50 clocks that chime on the hour, half hour, etc. It keeps me up all night. I don't have the drugs some of you do, I need some. Fed ex?!?!?

On a better note. This morning it was VERY low humidity and around 70 degrees. Very weird for gulf coast weather in August. I had the best run despite my running buddy bailing due to a migraine. I wanted to go forever and maybe run away, but alas reality slapped me in the face and I came home before the husband had to leave for work.

I got big monkey his soccer shorts today, they actually had his size and some in little monkey's size. They are too cute. I can't wait to take a picture of big monkey in his uniform. Practice starts Monday evening.

Complete Overhaul

Yes, I need a complete overhaul. Upon further inspection of myself in my personal (lucky me) office bathroom mirror, I have decided I need some help and I need to turn on the overhead lights when dressing at 5 am.

My pants are WAY too big. I know, I should be happy I have lost a bunch of weight running, but I look really frumpy from the middle down. They are big enough for me to only have to undo the top button (not the other two or the zipper) to pull them down to pee. Not good. I contemplated going to Target to buy another pair of bottoms, but instead I went to CVS - more on that in a minute.

My toes need some polish, desperately. I took the polish off first thing Tuesday morning, at work. I had a rough time of it considering I was out of cotton swabs, the previous color was red with sparkles, and I spilled a 1/4 of the bottle on my desk, self, chair, carpet. So I did not get to the repainting of the toes. I do not like toes that are not painted. I do not like toes, but unpainted ones really gross me out - unless they are the monkeys' toes or baby toes.

So I went to CVS during my "break". I bought some flaming hot cheetos to help with my too big pants issue. All is well when you have an orange tongue on fire.

Lord, help me.

My neighbors have a cat they call Jesus. I think he is the daddy to the below mentioned kittens. I posted a bulletin on myspace about the kittens. I also asked my neighbors (they have myspace pages) if they had fixed Jesus yet.

Yes, I did. I asked if Jesus was fixed in a bulletin to 8 total my multitude of myspace friends.

So I had to go back and re post explaining that the cat's name was indeed Jesus, but my family calls him Hey-Zeus. The monkeys call him Zeus. We are not going to risk having to explain this to their teachers when they start Catholic school next year! I can just hear big monkey telling a friend that Jesus peed all over his umbrella on the front porch.

They come with an accent

These cute kittens, sorry about the pictures but it is really hard to take pictures of animals with the monkeys running around, ended up in my backyard. There are SEVEN of them!! Yes, SEVEN!! I am pretty sure they were born under our "barn" deck and we just recently noticed them. Obviously it has been too flipping hot to go out much in the afternoon. They are very cute and in desperate need of a home. I can work out a delivery option and will include a nice bottle of wine as bribery a reward.

I cannot have 7 outside cats. I was just thinking I would not get any other cats after the two I have go to kitty heaven. Oliver has decided to start pssting in the newspaper recycle box. Cat psst makes me vomit. He is treading thin ice.

I am pretty sure they are the spawn of my neighbor's kitty (they call him Jesus and I have been trying to avoid that conversation with the monkeys). I should really drop them in a box at their front door. I may, if people don't just fall in love and need to have them!!

Miss my mommy

I miss my parents. It has been WAAAYYY too long since I have seen them. What brings this up? Other than my hormonal issues this week, my little monkey brought it up. He saw a redhead at church yesterday and thought it was his Gigi. He was convinced and I could not tell him otherwise until she finally turned toward us and then he hid. Then he told me "I sad at you mommy! Me go to my Gigi howse daday!" I tried explaining that we would go see Granddad and Gigi in two weeks (we plan on going up there on the 15th), but he got really excited and thought I meant right then.
So, I miss my mom and dad!! Not that I don't talk to them nearly everyday, but it is not the same. I love watching them with my monkeys. There is so much love there and the monkeys absolutely adore them. There is something amazing about watching your parents being grandparents. I think it makes you appreciate their skills at parenting, cause God knows I could not see past my ridiculous teenage self to see it then!
So I will call my mom today after work, of course I will have emailed several times by then, and tell her how much she is missed (and dad too). Then I will commence fully into list preparation for our trip in 11 days!

Stiff body, unstiffen

Got up at 5 ish (am that is). I am trying to wake up so I can get a good run in this morning. I have got to try to hydrate, my hands and feet are swollen from the high humidity. Such a quiet house, especially after a full house yesterday. My new dining room table and chairs are in. They are even better in person!! I LOVE THEM!! Now I have to figure out how to make sure the family does not ruin them. Any suggestions? (we are a sit down at the table to eat together type of family - I had thought about sitting on the floor from now on!! HA HA)

Gotta go, I have to give my running buddy a wake up call!