Friday, February 19, 2010

Trying Times

It's been a busy couple of weeks here. I like busy, mostly.

Ever since the weekend after I found out about my husband being in love with someone else (this is as much as I can really bring myself to type about his disgusting behavior right now), I have been in this weird trance where I just don't feel like doing anything. Not just anything, but my normal stuff. I don't have the urge to make my lists (shocking, I know), get my house in order, go shopping for bargains, clip coupons, you know extra stuff that I seem to have a "reputation" for doing. I can't stand feeling this way and I just keep thinking I have GOT to snap out of it soon. I am happy to report that I have had a couple of pretty productive days this week. I am sure this is not the end of my so called trance, but it could be the beginning of the end.

Big monkey and I have been going at it lately. I have the shortest fuse I have ever had and it does not go well with a little boy who is angry at the world because his daddy left the family and puts very little effort into seeing him. We had a great morning this morning though and I am trying very hard to breathe easy and let the small stuff go for now.

I had to put little monkey and squeaky in a daycare. I cried the first day like I did with the other two when they used to go. They are both doing wonderfully and I think little monkey is really going to benefit from being back in a daycare setting. He was getting bored with the babies at home and needed some sort of older kid time. He introduced me to his new bestest friend yesterday. I asked little monkey what his name was and he said he did not know but I needed to ask him! It was cute. Did I mention how crazy it is dropping three monkeys off at two different locations and getting to work on time? Then to pick them all up and make sure I have a snack for the bigger two and am ready for some ravenous nursing from squeaky?! It is all very new for me and them, but we are managing. Soon it will be our normal and we won't remember what it was like to have it any other way.

I was trying to check in on a few of my favorite blogs today and came across a really puzzling post on Anna's blog. I did some searching and it seems like she passed away after a routine tubal ligation leaving four children and a husband behind. So sad really. Another reason I am trying to put on a happy face, I really am very blessed and things could be so much worse even though they don't feel that way at times.

4 comments:

Connie Weiss said...

Oh honey. I hope that you can get to a new normal soon and be back to doing all of the things that make you YOU. I'm so angry with your husband for what he's done to your family. Be strong my friend.

How very sad about your friend Anna. I don't even know what to say....

Stephanie Wilson said...

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog, I know exactly what you are going through right now and my heart completely goes out to you. I'm always a blog away if you need a understanding ear to vent to ;)

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Thinking of you. I'm glad I checked in. Hang tough, girl.

Lori said...

Sqeaky is so big! And good for you still nursing, I quit a month or so ago. Just couldn't fit it into my schedule anymore.
Wow, I don't read Anna's blog so I couldn't go check it out, but so sad and shocking from such a simple procedure.