Today has been what I call a sad day so far. I just am feeling a bit overwhelmed and very sad. And very alone.
I think with all of the busyness going on around me, I sometimes forget that I have a broken heart. Then all of a sudden, the reality hits me and makes me sad. Sad that I don't have a partner at home. Sad that the person that promised to love me forever is gone. Sad that the vows taken in front of God and our family and friends, were broken. Sad that I am starting to wonder if maybe I was really that difficult to be with. Sad that little monkey thinks that all daddy has to do is apologize to make us a family again.
Angry days are much better. I can be funny on these days, well in my sarcastic-humor-like way!
Of course, it does not help that my nanny gave me 2 weeks notice on Monday! Yes, two weeks notice to find good quality childcare for my 10 month old and 4 year old! Absolutely freaking ridiculous. Yet another person abandoning me and the monkeys. I am having huge problems trying to figure this one out. I can not find anywhere without a 6 month or longer waiting list. Unless I want to drop the monkeys off at the ghetto daycare or the one around the corner where half the staff is out smoking at any given moment. And did I mention that I am going to end up getting a measly $860 a month in child support from my BFF (Big F***er from F***ville)?!? Sorry for the potty mouth, but I really think they should figure out some other term to call a husband once he cheats and has filed for divorce telling me that it is my fault he cheated because I should have been taking care of him at home. Yes folks, I am really considering using him as a human pinata at Squeaky's first birthday party.
Well that just did it for me, I am not sad now, just angry! This may turn out to be a good day anyway!