Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Birthing wish

Being that I am pregnant, everyday at some point I think about how I would like to deliver this baby.
I should give some background to my birthing history. Big monkey was born via c-section after laboring for days (not too bad) and then the doctor breaking my water at an early point and increasing the pitocin so she could get home in time for Sunday dinner (we overheard this for real). I pushed for nearly 4 hours and the little guy would not come out. He was high in the pelvis and sunnyside up which is not condusive to delivery, at least not for my body. I had the epidural turned off after 30 minutes of pushing but they would not allow me to stand or squat (I really felt the need to do this with all of the back labor). Anyway, things did not go as planned and I was finally so exhausted I begged for the c-section.
I was incredibly depressed after this. Weird, so excited to have big monkey, but I just could not get the series of events that led to my c-section out of my head. Finally I had a break down and seemed better afterwards. I ended up pregnant with little monkey when big monkey was barely 6 months old. I switched doctors and immediately discussed a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section). My doctor was on board with a few stipulations 1. no induction, 2. no pitocin, 3. no waiting after due date, 4. if she felt something was going wrong we would immediately be swept into surgery. I got her to push the repeat c-section date to one day after the due date. And I tried hard to get the little guy to come on, but with no such luck. I had to show up for the scheduled surgery and was a bit sad. Then all of a sudden, I went into labor, very early labor. I should probably have put a stop to the scheduled surgery, but I just kept thinking about all of those people out in the waiting room. I should have thought about my wishes and what was best for the baby and me. Oh well, it probably turned out for the best considering he was nearly 2 pounds heavier than big monkey at birth and had his cord wrapped around his neck several times. Chances are that I would have ended up with an emergency c-section. It was so hard after going home, not to be able to pick big monkey up when he was crying, or vacuum, or any of the other stuff I wanted to do to feel normal.
So now to the littlest monkey. I immediately addressed the idea of a VBA2C with my doctor. She was very hesitant to say much. She said it usually does not get done (law suits, etc.), but she did not say no. She said we could talk about it as we got closer to the end of the pregnancy. I just would really like to try. I know it sounds insane, but I just can't shake the first birthing experience and still look at it as a failure. I know, I had a healthy baby boy and was just fine afterwards. That really is the most important, but it is just something in my head. I don't think I am the only one who has felt this way, they have support groups for women about this topic.
I have a big plan in my head for this birth. I plan on using no drugs and am thinking I may need a third party in the room with me (well really 5th party since my mom and husband would be in there). I need someone there for me that would not be so emotionally involved. Someone would know my wishes and help me stick to them without seeing their wife or daughter in pain and thinking immediately of how to stop the pain. I am thinking of a doula. Or I have this old college friend I met up with recently who has no children, is in the mental health field, lives a couple of blocks away, and can tell it to anyone straight. I am thinking about asking her to be my advocate.
Of course all of this is going purely on the idea that my doctor will go along with my grand plans. It will be something I pray about and probably stress about until it comes time or I figure a way to get it out of my head.

7 comments:

Lacy Rose said...

Isnt that kind of what a Doula does? Is kind of like your birthing coach and go between with the docs?
I could be totally wrong but that popped in my head instantly when I read your post.
I hope you get the birth experience you want.
All of this baby talk REALLY makes me want another. *sigh*

Connie said...

I would like to hve a different experiece then my last two deliveries. Have you seen The Business Of Being Born? It made me want to hve a baby on my kitchen floor!

Lori said...

I think having an advocate is a great idea to keep you or someone else from changing the plans (unless of course they absolutely have to be changed)

I had an epidural and they let me use a squating bar, it seemed to make pusing so much easier. I don't think it was working very well though because I had total feeling in my legs and felt a lot of pain pushing.

Sus said...

Hey I am a HUGE proponent of doulas. Mine has been a life saver for both my kids' births, and I "leant" her to a friend who had an amazing birth of her second (with my doula) after a really bad first. Email me at wigglerooms@gmail.com if you want to talk more in depth. Seriously, I feel like having a baby in a hospital without a doula is like going to court without a lawyer.

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

I don't know - that sounds so scary to me! (I had 3 c-sections with my boyz.) To each his own!

Christy said...

My best friend could have written your story. She just had her third and finally was able to have a vbac, I could give you her contact information if you would like and I know she could help you with your decisions.

Aldara said...

Hi! I am the person referred to you by Christy....I had a successful VBA2C 7 months ago. Please email me...I have a few ideas and resources you can turn to! You can have a successful VBA2C !